Pastor Joella has cautioned that silence in the face of trauma can strip people of their self-worth and self-esteem. She made the statement on Joy Prime’s relationship-centred show Let’s Talk, which aired on Tuesday at 9 pm.
The latest episode discussed the disturbing case of a woman whose husband impregnated her sister, sparking a broader conversation about betrayal, societal pressure and the unspoken emotional wounds that exist in many African homes.
Pastor Joella noted that African families often prioritise appearances over healing, forcing victims to suffer quietly. “Because our parents like to keep up appearances in front of others, if a family member causes trauma to another, they refuse to talk about it,” she said. According to her, this silence pushes people, especially children, into carrying emotional burdens that gradually erode their self-esteem.
She also criticised the values being instilled in children, questioning how two sisters could end up in a relationship with the same man.
“Why would you allow your first and second daughter to be married to the same man? Ego betrayed your first daughter by crossing the line with your other daughter,” she remarked.
The pastor stressed the need for parents to be deliberate in guiding their children through traumatic experiences instead of ignoring or downplaying the damage.
Touching on relationships, she highlighted the importance of communication, especially around subjects couples often avoid.
“You should be able to have conversations as a couple concerning your sexual moral life before marriage,” she advised. She argued that marriages should be built on friendship and transparency, warning that silence can be destructive in the long term.
Pastor Joella also questioned how couples could stay married for over a decade without addressing issues like infertility. “How can you be married for thirteen years without children and you could not sit down and have a discussion on the way forward if all options are not working?” she asked. She rejected the notion that children are the ultimate measure of marital success, insisting that peace, understanding and mutual support matter more than societal validation.
She concluded by encouraging victims of family betrayal to choose healing and emotional self-protection. Advising the woman at the centre of the controversy to forgive, she cautioned against remaining close to those who inflict deep wounds. “Not forgiving someone is allowing them to live rent-free in your mind,” she said. “The lady should forgive, but she should stay away from her family until she is completely healed from the scars they caused.”
Let’s Talk continues to provide a safe space for individuals navigating emotional, relational and personal struggles. The show airs every Tuesday at 9 pm on Joy Prime.
