A 47-year-old woman who has been married for thirteen (13) years without a child has shared the emotional struggles of childlessness despite being in a loving and supportive marriage.
Speaking on Let’s Talk with host Aseiduwaa on Joy Prime, she revealed that although her husband has never made her feel inadequate, she constantly feels guilty that his family name and legacy may not continue because they have no children.
Her story sparked a thoughtful discussion on the show, where relationship and family counsellor, Counsellor Perfect, analysed the psychological and emotional aspects of fertility and relationships. During the conversation, she addressed a related issue about attraction and mindset, offering strong advice to young women.
“If you are a lady and you are attracted to married men, check how you think,” she cautioned, describing such attraction as a sign of an unhealthy mindset. According to her, this often stems from emotional instability, low self-esteem or a lack of moral boundaries, all of which can affect a person’s ability to build healthy relationships. “Your attraction says a lot about your thought pattern. It could mean that something in your mind needs renewal,” she explained.
Counsellor Perfect used this example to show how mindset influences every area of life, including fertility. She said many women struggling with conception unknowingly allow fear, guilt or negative thoughts to interfere with their ability to conceive.
“One way of conceiving has to do with how you think and what you say about yourself concerning pregnancy. Accept that you will have children and it will happen. You should think positively and not have negative thoughts,” she advised.
She emphasised that the words people speak over their lives carry power, warning that a negative mindset can create emotional barriers. She encouraged women to speak faith-filled words and believe that motherhood is possible regardless of age or past disappointments.
Expanding on the link between faith and positive action, Counsellor Perfect said some pastors encourage couples seeking children to engage in activities that connect them to the idea of parenthood. “Some pastors will tell you to donate to children’s homes and give out to children and appreciate things that involve children,” she said, adding that such acts of generosity nurture a spirit that attracts fruitfulness.
She also observed that some people wish to have their own children but show little kindness to others’ children, a contradiction she believes can block blessings. “Some people are not kind towards children but they want to have children of their own. You being kind to children opens up your womb to have children of your own,” she explained, urging people to cultivate love and care for all children.
On the subject of male fertility, Counsellor Perfect warned that lifestyle choices such as excessive alcohol consumption and smoking can reduce sperm count and harm reproductive health. “Drinking and smoking reduce your sperm count,” she noted, urging men to adopt healthier lifestyles if they wish to start a family.
She further called for honesty and open communication between couples facing fertility challenges. She said many women suffer needlessly because their partners hide medical conditions. “If you are impotent, tell your wife before you make her take unnecessary concoctions and she ends up losing her womb,” she warned, calling for trust and transparency in marriage.
In conclusion, Counsellor Perfect encouraged the woman who shared her story to hold on to faith while also exploring medical options available to her. Although the woman expressed reluctance toward adoption, the counsellor reminded her that modern medicine offers several alternatives that can help her achieve motherhood.
Let’s Talk provides a safe platform for people to share personal stories and receive expert advice and practical solutions to life’s challenges. The show airs on Joy Prime every Tuesday at 9 p.m. and continues to inspire meaningful conversations about relationships, family and personal growth.