Reverend Daniel Annan has urged women to marry for genuine love rather than sympathy or gratitude.
Speaking on this week’s episode of Let’s Talk on Joy Prime with host Asieduwaa, Rev Annan shared his thoughts after a young lady narrated her emotional dilemma in choosing between two men.
The lady explained that one of the men had been a strong pillar in her life, especially during her national service. He had supported her in several ways, including furnishing her home and offering help whenever she needed it. Although he runs a side business and has shown commitment, he has not taken concrete steps toward marriage.
The other man, who recently came into her life, is financially stable, focused and clear about his intention to settle down. While she feels emotionally attached to both, she admitted struggling to make a decision since each man expresses love differently.
Reacting to her story, Rev Annan cautioned against marrying out of pity, noting that relationships built on sympathy often lead to frustration. “Don’t marry someone out of pity; marry because of love and the bond you share,” he said. He stressed that marriage should not be a reward for someone’s kindness but must be grounded in emotional connection, mutual respect and shared values.
He explained that love should be the foundation of every marriage because it is what sustains a relationship when challenges arise. “You can appreciate what someone has done for you, but that should not be the reason you marry them. Gratitude is good, but it doesn’t hold a marriage together,” he said.
Rev Annan also encouraged women to embrace their personal power, independence and self-worth. “You should have your personal power so that whatever comes from someone will just be a contribution,” he said. He added that a woman’s identity should not depend entirely on what a man provides but on her own values, goals and abilities.
According to him, every woman should believe in herself and ensure that anyone who comes into her life appreciates her for who she truly is. “Know that you are beautiful and wonderfully made by God. Own your destiny and know what defines you,” he advised.
On choosing a partner, Rev Annan said women should look for men who are committed, dependable and ready to build a future together. He added, with a touch of humour, that intimacy and emotional connection matter too, noting that sexual compatibility and understanding each other’s love language are key to a happy relationship.
Touching on honesty, he urged people not to lead others on or take advantage of their kindness. “If you don’t love the person, say no. Don’t keep accepting things from them because you’ll end up creating a wrong impression about yourself,” he warned. He added that pretending to be interested in someone out of guilt often leads to regret.
Rev Annan also noted that Christian couples do not always need lengthy pre-marital counselling sessions since they already have some foundational knowledge from church. Instead, he said counselling should focus on practical lessons that sustain marriages, such as communication, forgiveness and emotional maturity.
Speaking on leadership in relationships, he said a man does not need to constantly remind his partner that he is the head of the home; his actions should make that clear. “Otumfuo doesn’t need to tell people he is the king, his actions show it. As a man, your reliability, consistency and ability to lead should make that clear,” he said.
He also spoke about agape love, the unconditional love of Christ, encouraging women to seek men who embody that kind of love. “A man who can forgive, lead and love genuinely is a man worth building with,” he added.
Rev Annan concluded by advising the young lady to have an open and honest conversation with the first man about her desire to settle down. “She shouldn’t see that as being desperate. If he truly loves her, he will understand and be willing to plan toward it,” he said. He added that such clarity would help her make an informed decision rather than leaving things to chance.
Let’s Talk is a relationship and lifestyle talk show that airs every Tuesday at 9 p.m. on JoyPrime. The programme provides a safe space for people to share their stories, seek guidance and receive insight on matters of the heart.