Men often lack the capacity to address issues that bother them, relationship expert Counsellor Perfect has said.
Speaking on the latest episode of Let’s Talk, Joy Prime’s popular relationship show hosted by Aseiduwaa, she explained that many men respond to emotional discomfort with silence rather than communication.
“Men don’t have the capacity to address issues when it bothers them,” she stated.
The conversation was sparked by a story of a young lady who became emotionally attached to a device, which created disconnection with her partner. In response, the man mirrored her behaviour, leading to a cycle of silence and neglect. Counsellor Perfect said this was a common but unhealthy coping mechanism.
Expanding on relationship dynamics, she made a striking observation: “Love blinds you, but marriage opens your eyes.”
She stressed that during courtship, partners should use the period to investigate character, study behaviour, and address red flags.
“Courtship is the time to investigate your partner,” she advised, warning that unresolved habits often resurface in marriage.
“Whatever bad attitude you acquire in a relationship, you take the same into your marriage, and it becomes the blueprint you follow. If it’s not corrected, it can end up destroying the marriage,” she said.
She urged individuals to prioritise clarity over romance, adding: “If your partner doesn’t listen, doesn’t adjust, or isn’t willing to grow with you, it’s okay to walk away. It is better to break up than to divorce.”
Counsellor Perfect also highlighted the importance of intentionality in marriage. She urged couples not to leave things to chance but to be deliberate about bonding, communicating, and meeting emotional needs.
“Marriage works best when couples are intentional. Be strategic about how you relate with each other, set rules that help you track what is happening in each other’s lives, and create systems that promote growth and connection,” she explained.
Another key point was the need to move from individualism to partnership. She said couples must replace “I” with “we.” “In marriage, couples are not supposed to say ‘I.’ They are to say ‘we.’ This means when challenges arise, you don’t blame the other person. You take shared responsibility,” she stressed.
On communication, she cautioned against silence in relationships. “The beginning of marriage starts with a conversation, and the end of marriage also begins with the lack of one. So no matter how difficult things get, couples must not stop communicating. Silence breeds resentment,” she warned.
Her insights reinforced the idea that marriage requires depth, intentionality, and strategy beyond emotions and romantic gestures. She maintained that discovering a partner’s true character should happen in dating, not after marriage.
Let’s Talk continues to provide a safe platform for open discussions on love, dating and marriage. It airs every Tuesday at 9 p.m. on Joy Prime.
