Have you seen some of these untold stories of medical doctors in their consulting rooms somewhere? As for me, I have seen some as follows:
Consulting Room Number 1:
Doctor: So you need to take one of these pills every day for the rest of your life.
Patient: But doctor, there are only 3 pills in the bottle.
Doctor: Exactly
Consulting Room Number 2.
Patient: Doctor, there is nothing I can do about it. The problem is that obesity runs in my family
Doctor: Not really; the problem is that nobody runs in your family
Consulting Room Number 3.
Patient: Doctor, I really hurt when I raise my right hand
Doctor: Then raise only your left hand. Have a nice day
Consulting Room 4.
Patient: Anytime I laugh, I cough
Doctor: Then don’t laugh again
Consultant Room 5.
Patient: There are times when I am walking in the night, I hear the sound of someone saying into my ears ‘hey’
Doctor: Okay. Two things; you either stop walking in the night or whenever you hear that sound again, you too scream back “hey’. Good day
Consulting Room 6:
Patient: Anytime I urinate, my whole body begins to feel yiiiiii!
Doctor fainted.
It’s weekend again and these are times for us to take it easy on ourselves. Don’t kill yourself. If you do, life will not seize to be; only yours may have seized.
On a more serious note, I lost my favorite nephew, Korshi this week. I am still grieving and struggling to put this stuff together.
Korshi was the baddest boy in the family but the most loved. He was like David who broke all the ten commandments and still God’s most loved in Old Testament Biblical times. I wish the government could enforce the law on wearing helmets before riding motor cycles as it is in Togo, our closest neighbour. You dare not sit on a motor cycle without a helmet. Even passengers own their own helmets. If you like, don’t wear it and see something! Lesson learnt – however short the distance, wear your helmet or seatbelt. This may not apply to vehicles only.
If you have never boarded a plane from Accra to Alis Abaaba before, you may not understand what is meant by ‘chicken or beef’. My second experience was to say both so as to have more protein and less carbo. Too much carbohydrates and too much of proteins are both a problem.
How can you enter my office and start looking around for stuff on my desk? Haba. You too, why?
Buchey entered my office and consciously started looking and flipping through some documents on my desk. With the kind of respect I had for him, I only looked at him with some quizzical scorn! He probably didn’t get the import of my verbal-less reaction and went further to question me on one of documents he had seen. Oh Papa, why?
I almost described him as uselessly useful because in spite of such a bad habit of his, he is a fantastic I.T guy who fixes my Chiana iphone for me anytime I had a problem with it.
The worst one could ever do is to steal a glance at the contents of a document on somebody’s desk but to go further to query what he’s seen, is far stretched.
One of the things I can’t say in the presence of my siblings or siblings is anything about sex. I can’t say it even now. I am unable to talk about anything sexual in nature perhaps because of the way I was brought up! Good or bad, I can’t remember o. all I can remember is that I learnt it ‘on the job’ after marriage. Hahahaha!
I was shocked when my sister approached me and told me about how a herbalist had been so helpful to Nana Yaw, her son, my nephew. According to my sister, Nana Yaw, 14 and half years old then, complained to her that he ‘could not stand upright’ for long. Ei! As3m b3n nie! Before I could even probed further she called Nana Yaa to come and narrate his own story to Uncle Mawuli.
I asked Nana Yaw, so what was your problem, I asked. His response which I would try to paraphrase “Oh, at a point, any time my girlfriend visited me and I wanted to perform, the thing rises and upon entry, it ‘frowns’ and drops leaving my girlfriend very dissatisfied”. Ei, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘You even have a girlfriend at age 14?’ I soliloquized! And then I probed further. “So what happened afterwards?, I quizzed to which he responded sharply and with so much ease in the presence of the mother “Oh after my Mum had sent to the herbalist who administered some drugs, now I can ‘stand on my feet as a man”.
Up till now, I have neither been happy nor sad and don’t remember uttering a word till now after the ‘Nana Yaw Declaration’.
Happy because this was a teenager who identified a sexual problem early and drew his mother’s attention to it for a possible cure. Sad because at his age, one would have expected some chastity and sexual discipline and the mother seemed to be encouraging him.
Recognizing the fact that early reproductive health education was necessary, it still beats my imagination and that has made it difficult to probe further how old his girlfriend was. He at age 14 and a half, chances are that the girlfriend may be about the same age or younger and understands what sexual satisfaction is. Hmmm! What a useless modern world! Is it? Or rather to our advantage? Reason, I am asking is that maybe several others may be doing this and keeping it away from their parents – this is where there could be problems.
Nana Yaw, my dear nephew, I am still hoping that you are not ‘useless’ but I am worried! The interesting reality may be that you are not even reading this but having a good time with your girlfriend! Just remember to wear your helmet because we are still mourning Korshi who just turned 40 and shocked the whole family with his passing on!
The most important thing is that even teenagers have come to know that there is a ‘short term’ solution to long term problems. Our aphrodisiac dealers, I beg, teenagers are picking it up regardless of the age caveat of 18 and above, because this may compound their problems in the future.
If you have a teenage boy, find a subtle way of knowing whether ‘he is standing well on his feet’; on the other hand, if you have a teenage girl, find a nice way of checking what she has on her smart phone.
God be with us all and remember the fact that it gets to that time of your life where you begin to think about yourself first especially when eating all the fatty foods and sugary stuff. It is not selfishness but it is maturity!
Let me leave you with this last one: “funeral jollof rice with smoky flavor tastes nice so long as it is not being prepared in your compound”. God protect us all. I am so sad today but it shall be well! Hmmm!